Why I Can't Go Out With You:

I'd LOVE to, but...
	-- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
	-- None of my socks match.
	-- I'm having all my plants neutered.
	-- I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
	-- My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
	-- I'm touring China with a wok band.
	-- My chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
	-- I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student
		named Basil Metabolism.
	-- There are important world issues that need worrying about.
	-- I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
	-- I prefer to remain an enigma.
	-- I think you want the OTHER Peggy/Cathy/Mike/whomever.
	-- I feel a song coming on.